Your Netflix Crossroads Of Destiny

Years ago, I worked at a suicide hotline.
All night I would have high stakes conversations
with people about their lives
and what they would do next.

For years, my focus was on helping people
when it was all on the line.
When there was no turning back.

As the years passed, I realized
"my big moments" focus
was thinking too small.

Why?
Because I limited
my best stuff to one giant conversation
when people were filled with adrenaline.
When fear was pounding at the door
waiting to come in.

That turned my best support
into a roll of the dice.

If a life is in your hands (and it always is)
you don't play games.

I now see the big conversations
in every small moment.
Maybe we talk about something small.
But it can be encouraging.
Or maybe I just listen.

Instead of stopping someone at the cliff,
maybe a caring conversation
keeps a person feeling cared about
miles before they ever even see a cliff.

Years ago someone said
something amazing to you
and you never forgot it.
Maybe it gave you strength
to hang on a little longer.

Was it just one time?
Or do you remember other times?

Years ago someone said
something hurtful to you
and you never forgot it.
Maybe you were close to losing hope.

Was it just one time?
Or do you remember other times?

This is your tipping point
or breaking point
waiting to be revealed.

Sometimes there's a
tipping point that
gets you to happiness.
Sometimes there's a breaking point
that puts you in pain.

In every conversation you have,
you have so many ways
to change someone's life
in ways big and small.

Every single conversation
you have is a chance.

It's easier for some people
to believe they can make $100k in a month
than they can have a conversation
that changes a life.

What does that mean, anyway? Change a life? :)
Questions can help stall for more time.

I'm in a race with fate
to tip a few things in your favor.
Far away from the cliff.
Maybe you're doing the same
with people you care about.

If you are, my cryptic words
are crystal clear.
If not...Netflix? lol

Your kindness
will outlast everything.

Stay in the race.

Robert

I'm preparing for the week ahead.
Marketing campaigns across different mediums.
People I'm teaching with projects,
marketing campaigns and students of their own.
People I'm leaning heavily
on to help me with various tech challenges.
Friends in my life with challenges
that stay close by.

I thread one thought
throughout my plans for the week:
There's a big difference
between good intentions and being effective.

Stage one:
Someone has good intentions and we all feel good.

Stage two:
Events go nicely - the direct mail campaign gets a good response. Someone agrees to buy.

Stage 3:
Adversity strikes - the mail house had a problem with printing a sales letter.

The crucial website is down and no one knows why yet.

The promising client disappeared on a student.

The superstar student has a meltdown over things not going their way.

I pretty much live in stage 3.
That is where it's all decided.
If you cover a lot of ground,
adversity is striking somewhere.

The website doesn't care about my good intentions.

The superstar student may have other things going on that can cause anything I say to be unheard, unseen and ignored.

There's a term - diffusion of responsibility.
A thumbnail definition in an example sentence:

Person 1: "I thought you were handling it."

Person 2: "Really? I thought YOU were handling it."

Person 3: "Really? I thought YOU TWO were supposed to handle it.

Person 4: - "I told Robert about it - I figured he had it covered." lol


Stage 4:
Adversity is managed and fires are put out for now.

Being effective is not just
being able to produce good results.
It's being able to manage inside fragile conditions, things breaking apart,
lack of monitoring,
unconfirmed statuses,
tech problems and sudden tantrums
and move the traveling tornadoes
to the finish line without incident.

Most people are great
if their ideal conditions aren't challenged.
Being really effective
means going beyond
your own sphere of preferences.
That's where a lot of good intentions fade away.

The survival of any major business,
friendship or relationship
is probably not decided
when things are going perfectly.

It's decided when the chips are down.
When everyone is in a bad mood.
Are you the person
that lifts people around you up?

Can you help them behind the scenes
without seeking credit or thanks?

Are you the person
that's stopping daily disasters
from happening?

Are you walking into disasters
and rolling up your sleeves?

Make a list of the people
in your life outside your family
who can count on you no matter what.

Pretty words and thoughts are great.
But at 2am - are you the one
people can count on?

If people you know had an emergency,
and they could choose to call 5 people besides family members...would you be their first call or their last?

You still have to negotiate your boundaries.
You can't be a doormat.
But being burned in the past
doesn't mean people
can't count on you now.

So when I plan out the week,
I'm factoring in the people around me
running low on energy.
People who feel unsupported at the moment.

They're first on my list for this week to help.

They just don’t know it. :)

Don't wait for a
formal title
to be a leader.

Robert

"What do you pack 
when you pursue
a dream? 
And what do you
leave behind?”
Sandra Sharpe


Every morning you wake up,
you're different.
Your moods filter the words you say.
The words you say on any given day
can change what people say back to you.

It's a simple statement.

The words you don't say on any given day
can change what people don't say back to you.

Is this where we cue in
all the magic words and spells? lol

No it's not.

If I'm tired, I might drink more coffee to pick me up.
I'm trying to overcome feeling tired.
The coffee is going to
change some part of what I say
and how I say it.
If it didn't, I wouldn't drink it.

All of my life direction,
all of the things I care about
gets mixed in with my caffeine band aid.

Then mix in the storms of a day.
Tech problems, too hot outside.
Too cold outside.

All those avatars waiting patiently
in perfect circles.
Rows of needs to be answered.

But there's storms and tech problems.
And the temperature isn't just right.
So now you're at the moment of truth.
Either you act more like a machine
or you accept you're not one.

Because tomorrow's forecast looks just like today.

Piano tuners just accept that pianos have to be tuned.
Software makers update their software
because conditions are always changing.

In business people accept their audiences
are constantly evolving.

That makes predictions difficult.

They wake up asking questions
about how the marketplace has changed.
They would hopefully
never assume their audience
has stayed the same.

Are they factoring in themselves as carefully?
Is there an empathy map for their recent family challenge?
Or should you look at one half of the picture?

When you're in business, there are two points of focus -
you and the person you're focusing on.
To focus only on one - to not bring that
into all your calculations is a little out there.

Changes and challenges
circle everyone in 360 degrees, 24/7.

Money changing hands can be a victory, right? 
A sale is made.
Slippery slope can go down:
Success can create new obligations.
Obligations can make you work long hours
while you treat people like furniture
and lose everyone you care about.

Not possible and never happened - of course.
How can I say such things?

There's a delicate emotional algebra to this.
What you add to one area 
may be taking away from another.
Found time for one project can be
lost time for someone or something you love.
To make one person feel important
may mean risking another feeling ignored.

The balance isn't about feelings.
It's about what people do based on their feelings.
Including you.

When you drive down a local street,
there's usually a painted line in the middle.
One side goes in one direction.
The other side goes in the other.
Two sides of the street.

The only thing keeping cars from crashing
is a painted line and a light with 3 colors.
Red, Yellow and Green.

That's the agreement that holds it all together.
A line and 3 colors.

People form companies
and successful ones go public
and sell stocks.

The wrong headline
can send stocks
plummeting through the floor.
Overnight.

Can you hear me now? lol

You're walking around
with other people's lives in your hands
and you may not be thinking too hard about it.

When you really see 
how fragile things are,
you can see the value of support.

Making art of any kind
to me requires an awareness.
Top museums may rely
on certain lighting to reveal
the life behind a painting.

Music producers can spend days
just on the right drum sound.
Which drummer + hitting which drum
+  which room -+ which microphone.
Change any part of that equation
and the sound changes.

Business requires an awareness
under conditions that are always changing.
Your life is always changing.
The cards are always being shuffled.
You're at a table with people
inside fast changing lives
and shifting environments.

That awareness
can help you slow down
and carefully appreciate
the moments you have.

Appreciation can lead to gratitude.
Hopefully it can make it easier
to lessen the fever dream of the moment
and help the people in your life.

In whatever way you can.


Robert

“There’s a joke
that we didn’t sell
many records,
but everyone
who bought them 
went out
and started a band.”
Lou Reed

The most important trait
to have in business, 
teaching and art of any kind
is the ability to be moved.
Not the fake excitement 
some people have 
to hustle something from others.
The good stuff.

And there are struggles along the way.
Inspiration may not at strike every moment.
That's what makes being moved
by something or someone so crucial.
Your ability to be moved 
is the conduit to move others.

If you want to be moved a lot, 
pour your heart and soul into all that you love.
When you see someone else doing the same, 
you can't help but be moved sometimes.

My favorite teachers
always led by example. 
They had such a joy in
teaching and a passion for learning.

They were sending
a message to the future:
YOU.

One day you might do the same
and start the cycle again.

Teaching and creating
are both a form of magic.
A sense of wonder
is collectively passed on.
An undying love
that evolves, dims
and brightens again.

Before the story
was the storyteller.
Before the storyteller
was a person
newly filled with wonder.
And someone helped
fill that person with wonder.
As so many teachers
who watched over me once did.

I've always stayed in touch
with my favorite teachers.
My one message:
your faith in me
was not forgotten
and will not
go to waste - thank you.

So whenever you read
something from me,
all my teachers
say hello.


Robert

"Success is as dangerous as failure.
Hope is as hollow as fear.

What does it mean
that success is as dangerous as failure?
Whether you go up the ladder
or down it,  your position is shaky.

When you stand
with your two feet on the ground,  
you will always keep your balance.

What does it mean
that hope is as hollow as fear?
Hope and fear are both phantoms  
that arise from thinking of the self."

Lao Tzu

The Power Of Sour

I have friends that have infectious enthusiasm.
When they smile, they light up the room.
I hate when I have to give them bad news.
Or balance their optimistic plans
with potential problems on the horizon.

It's even worse when I'm the only one saying it.
You know what they say about the messenger.
That's right - people buy them hot chocolate. :)

My best friendships have been us
looking out for each other.
Working through difficult times.
Not trying to be right but be supportive.
Warning people if they face
a blind spot that could hurt them.
Willing to risk an argument for their safety.

Sour is bad
when you're
expecting sweet.
Being woken up
is bad when you're
trying to sleep.

Getting someone's attention
is pretty basic.
Try getting it 
when they're afraid to look.

Loyalty shows itself over years.

Standing by people
doesn't come with a guarantee.

That never mattered.
And never will.

Robert
             

Hi *|FNAME|*,

I ask for help all the time.
From tech problems to my health.
Asking for help involves
a lot more than dumping
my problems on someone.
If done correctly, asking for help
gets me clear on my problem beforehand.
It helps me honor the person I'm asking.

It can help teach me how to
solve the problem on my own the next time.
It can help create a bond with the person I'm asking.

Some people ask for help like they're
somehow doing you a favor by asking.
And maybe they are?
But it's always nice to ask
with some appreciation anyway.

So here's some ideas for you:

How To Ask For Help

Whether you're going to a doctor
or a computer programmer,
paying someone doesn't absolve
you from asking for help correctly.
If I'm going to the doctor,
I know they're counting down the minutes
and it's up to me to get to the point.
It's the same in business
and anywhere you need support.
 
Some quick tips:
 
Do your homework first.
Write down -
What you're trying to accomplish.
How this problem stops you.
  
Have you had this problem before?
How important is this problem?
Is it "not a big deal",
“just wondering”
or a major emergency?
What is the problem as you see it?
Is there any chance it could be something else?

Include:
Anything you did that may
have caused the problem.
Exact steps you've taken
to resolve it  - this avoids wasting time.
"I tried that already and it didn't work"
(Arrrghh! lol)
If you haven't done anything to resolve the problem, consider doing
something to resolve it before asking.

Were any parts of the problem
resolved after your attempts to resolve it?
 
Why are you asking this person for help?
Have you asked other people in the past?
If yes, what did they say?
Are you asking 20 people at once right now?
 
When you're given the help you asked for
Thank the person on the spot.
Even if you paid them.
 
Remember all the words you had
to describe your problem
and ask for help?
Put an equal amount of thought
into thanking the person.

NO
"Thx" "..preciate it."

(unless your last name
is Jagger or first name is Bono):
 
Worst of all: No response at all.
Never take help without thanking people.
Ever.
The best funnel in the world
won't save you from
treating people like furniture.
 
YES:
"Thank you so much!
I really appreciate your help."
 
Even after you pay someone...
Many ways to thank people:
Letters, calls...however you
want to thank people is up to you.
How do you want to be thanked?
 
Tell them if you're going to apply their help.
If not, tell them why.
 
Give them updates.
Tell them how their help turned out.
I got referrals from one dentist.
They were all great people.
I told him how each one worked out.
 
People who help you
are invested in your success.
Be a great investment.
Let them know their help was appreciated.
 
You track your expenses.
Track how you treat people.
 
Do you remember the people in your life
who never appreciated what you did for them?
They kinda sorta thanked you?
Are they on your list of favorite people?
No? What list are they on? lol
 
You're on people's lists too....
So keep this handy. :)
Robert
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

Hi,

Can you remember every interaction you had yesterday?
Every message you sent and replied to
on email, text and beyond?
Every person you passed- stranger, colleague and friend...?

In every instance, you affected them.
Your tone of voice, the time you spent with them or cut short.
The degree of how you affect people varies.
But with your attention and time, you feed people.

When you watch dog food commercials,
things get real serious
when it comes to making sure
Woofie gets only the finest nutrition.
No artificial byproducts or fillers.

You're combing through Amazon
Yelp and Google reviews
like a hawk to make sure
you're not getting anything less
than great items and
a pizza place with decent crust.

When you're not being paid,
are you thinking about what you're feeding everyone?
Too many people to think about? OK - how many people are you comfortable with thinking about daily? I'm just talking about the people in your orbit.

What are you feeding people?
What are people feeding you?

Do you know exactly
how much time you need from someone
to feel cared about?
Is it 4 minutes and 27 seconds? 
Or 3 minutes and 41 seconds?
Do you have the exact amount written down somewhere?
What? All this time being alive and you still don't know? :)
Isn't there a recipe book that lays it out in 3 easy steps somewhere? Of course there is. lol

When you wake up tomorrow, you're going to want things.
Like a tractor beam you might be pulled in one direction
and speed by people 
like houses blurring together as you drive past.

You might be in a room of people
who seem like they see you 
but you're all passing each other by.

Remember when you were a kid
and it was the last day of school before summer?
There was nothing to do but shake hands
and count down til the final bell.

Everything was forgotten and forgiven.
Can you remember one time with that feeling?

You might feel that at a club at 2am and they play that one song
and you're with your friends.
You forget everything and enjoy each other.
That moment stays with you.
Dig deep - you have them.
At a concert, out with friends,
you could rattle off more times than you think.

Can you bring that feeling to someone in the next 24 hours?
Can you help someone you barely know feel cared for and safe? 
Do you try with small things like listening to people
or are you saving up for a big entrance?

It's 1:30 am EST right now.
The first person you talk to 
tomorrow morning, do me a favor.
Take 5 seconds and think about your tone of voice.
Think about how you start your email.
Just do that.

You have no idea
the good things you'll be putting in motion
for you and everyone around you.

But I do. :)

Robert 

Uncertainty is the empty landscape

that waits for you in the next minute.

Many people dread the feeling of uncertainty.

The financial markets rattle when uncertainty shows up.

Addictions are born daily to cope with the pain of not knowing.

Everyone loves a formula that promises order in chaos.

The more acronyms the formula has, the stronger it looks.

But sometimes your biggest bets can be undone

if Jeff Bezos falls in love.

Any Amazon stock experts predict that?

People turn to Facebook experts with formulas

who are trying to keep up

with Facebook developers who are trying to keep up

with the Facebook execs who are trying to keep up

with the Facebook regulators who are trying to keep up

with the Facebook users

and the Facebook advertisers

and the Facebook competition.

The invincible Apple hurts when Steve Jobs is gone.

In medicine, a big innovation has been robotic surgery.

Surgeons can now operate robots from far away.

But the skills required to operate a robot are not the same

as those of a surgeon.

The numbers don't look good for all procedures:

https://www.nytimes.com/2019/03/11/health/robotic-surgery-cancer.html

Some self driving cars are still having problems.

https://futurism.com/tesla-autopilot-shown-steering-towards-highway-barriers

These problems will hopefully all be worked out at some point.

 Just not today.

The need for certainty creates blind spots.

If you feel certain about how something will proceed, you're less likely to question it.

I don't check every app on my phone in the morning to make sure they're all working.

That doesn't mean every app is fine.

Uncertainty is the palette of artists, writers and musicians.

Pieces don't reveal the whole.

The reveal doesn't predict the reception.

That's the magic and the pain.

Marketing chases the moving target of certainty forever.

The certain list of people changes value to different markets and formats.

What was the magic button that closed the sale?

The casinos don't like card counters.

Neither do most marketing platforms.

Attribution can give away too much.

 This is not to be confused with the dystopian futures that help make sales.

If you go back 10 years and look at the terrible predictions that started with

“The End Of…”

It would be fun to keep score of what’s actually ended and gone.

As uncertain as some things are,

you’re left with a lot to work with

if you look closely.

Platforms preserve their leverage

as long as you play exclusively on their field.

The real uncertainty is not in the abstract markets.

It's the wild and unpredictable you.

You're the wild card and you always will be.

A simple life event - a change in health, loss of a loved one,

falling in love among thousands to choose from...

and your entire world view can change forever.

The event is common - how you react is not.

6 billion people = 6 billion wild cards.

You now have unreadable complexities

bubbling beneath the surface.

And the musical chairs begins again.

Facebook formula 2.0!.... 3.0!...4.0.!

 People say humans are predictable - until they try to change something.

 Having a healthy reverence for the unpredictable

can keep your eyes scanning the landscape more.

Facebook, Amazon, Apple and Google are completely tied into people's lives.

Imagine how much they know. How many trillions of data points they collectively have.

Like a psychic best friend, they literally try to finish your sentences for you.

Your iPhone has the next word ready for you in your text box.

Gmail has replies for you to enter and likes to guess what you're searching for.

Now factor in that even they get caught off guard and they get surprised.

They don't have winners all the time. Their stocks do fall.

If none of them can predict what's happening next,
I'm not relaxing any time soon.

 That's what coffee is for.

Don't get too comfy,

my expert friends :)

In competition,
caring has a dual reputation.
Caring is a can't miss topic
for feel good festivals,
salons and earthy gatherings.
It keeps the vulnerability manageable.
 
Some businesses are ruthless competitors.
But visit their about me page and
their mission statement heralds a new age of caring
and tech enlightenment.
Between loving their dogs and local sports teams,
you might wonder if they're talking about someone else.
 
When caring feels false,
it feels like a press release.
When it rings true,
it creates friendships for life.
 
Will you do an imagination exercise with me?
You don’t need to write anything.
If yes, please keep reading:
 
 
Think about a human being 
you care very deeply about.
You must know them personally
and they know you.
They must be
alive on this planet
in this moment right now.
 
Really let how much you care about that person
rise to the surface.
Feel how much you care.
 
Now for 1 minute, go walk to a mirror and look at your eyes.
while you're thinking about that person and then come back.
Scroll down when you're done.
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
You're different when you care.
Way more powerful.
What you pay attention to expands at times.
Like a bucket collecting rainwater
everything gets saved to be of help later.
 
Or what you pay attention to can narrow
to the tiniest, almost imperceptible change.
A hesitation in the voice of a doctor
calling with a family member's results.
Someone coming home unusually early
or a client agreeing to a sale maybe too quickly.
And that quick frictionless "yes"
might quietly brace you for the
promised payment never arriving.
 
Caring creates a great presence.
When it's absent, some people hesitate.
Caring about the client
can create crater sized gaps
when you don't.
 
Think of what your eyes look like
when you care deeply about someone.
Now think of what they look like when you don't.
Is there a difference?
If you can see it, so can they.
 
They'll see it in your eyes,
hear it in your voice,
when you used to respond faster
and now every step forward
is mired in delays that you can't control.
 
Soon enough,
the unforeseen delays are contagious
and now there are distances
that can't be overcome on their side.
 
What happened?
Everything was going great.
 
When you look at your business,
there are dashboards filled with metrics.
And you may track them like a hawk.
 
There's some tech that does
sentiment analysis which is as funny as it sounds.
 
You know those studies that say
when you write something down you remember it better?
The real progress doesn't show on the paper.
It's in there with you wherever you go.
 
Business is a hierarchy of emotions.
Someone paints a line in the middle of the road
and people take driving lessons not to crash their cars.
Contracts, spreadsheets and bank accounts help
people remember where they last left off.
 
When you see the fragility,
you'll see the value of caring.
 
Otherwise,
keep your spreadsheets and
dashboard handy. :)
 
 Robert 

There’s lots of apps on mindfulness.
People pay money to be reminded
to stay mindful.

Some apps help you
breathe deeply.
I’m a fan of breathing too.

Consider this post a written reminder:
You’re someone’s only hope.
I don’t know who that person is.
And they may not be up for telling you.

There’s probably a lot of people
that are really counting on you.
I’m not talking about whatever project
you have going on.

I mean you the person.
In their lives.
Friend or not.
Related or not.

It’s great to look out for yourself.
And make sure your time is properly watched.

But every so often
like say,
before you go to sleep every night,
try to think of who is counting on you.

Because when tomorrow comes,
There can be so many things going on,
it can be easy to lose track.

But the stakes are high.
If you really saw how many people
are counting on you,
it might be scary.

Now if you get overwhelmed,
do you have someone you can go to?
Isn’t that a great feeling?
You see how this works? :)

That helps me pay close attention.
So I’m writing this for the both of us.

Who needs you
at your best right now?
Are you returning people's calls?
Are you too busy to add that to your plate?
They have an app for that….:)

Robert

Callings always

look great in the movies.

When you're telling your story

and it fits the "Hero's Journey"

even better because…. 7 step something blog posts. lol

It won't be long before

some magical wizard stops by.

How much money did he make again?

But in the quiet of your mind,

callings have a different pace.

A slow burn.

It never lets go.

and will outlive everything you have.

The calling of whatever

you're really here for.

Your very biggest challenge.

Sugar high epiphanies

will keep you busy in the meantime.

Are they tweetable?

Then you're in business.

When you've been

worn down enough,

you'll be ready to hear yourself.

Thing is, the price for ignoring your calling

or heeding it - kind of the same.

It hurts to heed it.

There's no orchestra behind you.

And there's no guarantees.

But it also hurts knowing

"what could have been"

had you just trusted yourself

at the level you know you're capable of.

There's actually people

rooting for you to not give up.

Like me.

Robert

Good recording equipment
picks up every noise.
If you move or breathe
or open your mouth wrong,
you just made work for someone to clean it up.

I’ve bought different headphones over the years.
The better the headphones, the more they revealed.
I thought I recorded a perfectly fine teaching audio.
But the headphones broadcast
all the noises of the room
the microphone picked up.

"Fixing" human flaws is big business.
Not really fixing flaws 
so much as hiding them.

Technology across the board
from photography to movies
to the back up cameras
and blind spot monitors in cars
shine bright lights on all we miss.

Perfection is an unwinnable battle.
If there are flaws,
technology will find a lot of them.
Great for car brakes.
For human beings, it depends. :)

You don’t have to make things perfect.
But you can make something beautiful - to you.

Some people like “good enough.”
Sometimes because it’s functional
and sometimes it keeps them
from caring too much
and getting hurt.

The minute your work
leaves your hands
machine and human eyes
measure and quantify it.

Under the harsh light
of impossible perfection
caring takes the long view.

Because there’s a difference
between having skin in the game
and having your heart in it.

It depends of course
what you’re doing all this for.

View fullsize

Tomorrow is Thanksgiving in the US.
Years ago, I wrote an email
to my closest friends at Thanksgiving.
I didn't want to write an email that
said "be grateful, etc." just because you should.

Holidays can be complicated.
You see people you're related to but can't relate.
Obligations can become resentment.
Memories shared are remembered differently-
with heroes and villains
conveniently changing names
based on who is sharing the memory

That's before we even get to
talking about the outside world.
Ya know like um... The Yankees? lol
You too? 

All the while time is fleeting.
Families don't stay families forever.

If you market something,
you're in the business of being right.
You may fight that one of course,
because you're in the business of being right. :)

That can be a problem
when you're with people
whose sole job isn't strongly
selling a product or service that requires
a strong point of view.

No one sends an email saying 
"Hey - I'm selling something but don't get too excited.
It's just ok. Nothing too great. So if you feel like it,
you can buy it. Anyway, let's talk about that Yankee trade.”

When you speak,
you can overpower people
and not even know it.
So I'm here to offer a couple of things
to consider for your role in the holidays.

Marketing and life
are both about specific moments in time.
Moments that don't come back.
So really think through
how you want people to feel
after talking to you.

My holiday email below resonated with my friends.
They kept asking me to re-send it
so it's become a holiday tradition.
If you're seeing your family again
in the next month,
you might find this helpful.

There's a bonus for you at the end of it.
I am a marketer after all :)

With this letter, you are now a part of
my holiday tradition:)
______________________________________________

The holiday season is officially upon us.
You may have family and friends you're about to see.
I'd like to give you a gift.

There's always been 2 forms
of gratitude that I've seen most at Holidays..
the kind you show out of sentiment
because the day tells you
to act grateful such as Thanksgiving..
and the kind you show
because you mean it
and the holidays
are another chance to say it.

I write this the week of 
Thanksgiving though it applies to every day.

If you're sitting at the Thanksgiving table
this week wherever that may be,

Ask yourself how many
Thanksgivings or upcoming holidays 
you think you'll see each person in the room.

Who wasn't here
this holiday season
that could be
if you made peace with them?

Who won't ever be
at another holiday dinner
because they are no longer with us?

I bring this up because
we don't have
an unlimited amount
of days to tell people we love them.

It is entirely possible
that it could be
someone in the room's
last holiday season...including ours.
How do you want people to remember it?

If there's someone
you love but don't say it...
What makes you not tell them?
Maybe they don't get you or agree with you.
Maybe they don't appreciate you,
and "always" criticize you.

It's been said that
there are just as many people
who are going to therapists
for having known US
as we have to get over having known THEM.

There may be
people in our lives
who are anxious right now
thinking of seeing US this holiday season.

Because maybe WE
don't understand them,
don't appreciate them,
don't agree with them,
maybe WE criticize who THEY are.

..yes..US..
immaculate,
perfect, enlightened,
"I know this already" US.

They might be coming
to the holiday dinner
worried about
whether we'll acknowledge them..
love them for who they are...

just as worried as us.

In truth, there is no "them".
There is ONLY us.
ALL of us.

If there's someone
you don't want to see
this holiday and you're seeing them
because you "have to"..
make sure you sit next to them at dinner
and make them feel loved.
At least try.

One more person
to feel good about in your life..
How thankful would you be for that?

I hope that's a gift worth having.:)
 __________________________________________
"Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life.
 It turns what we have into enough,
 and more.
 It turns denial into acceptance,
chaos to order,
confusion to clarity.
It can turn a meal into a feast,
a house into a home,
a stranger into a friend.
Gratitude makes sense of our past,
brings peace for today,
and creates a vision for tomorrow."
Melody Beattie

If you celebrate it,
Happy Thanksgiving!
Robert
 

A lot of writing is easy when a decision needs to be made.
Should I follow my heart on this?
Should I listen to my inner voice?
 
Once you've chosen your path
and you've shared every profound thought you had
about the struggle to choose it...
 
Once you've gotten in the boat by yourself
with a crowd of happy faces 
on land waving goodbye
and wishing you well...
 
There will come a time
when you have already set sail.
And you are in the middle of the sea
with the waves crashing against your boat.
 
Working on a project - right in the middle.
And things may be breaking apart.

People are counting on you.
Many people might silently add two words.
People are counting on you - to deliver.
But before you can deliver,
you have to be counted on.
That's not a play on words.
 
If it's due on Friday,
people still count on you on Monday.
And they count on you on Tuesday.
And Wednesday and Thursday.
 
When people feel confident with you on Monday,
they see you differently on Friday when it's delivery time.
Conversely, you may remember relationships
where you talked every day but still became distant.
 
So when you're out at sea
and people need to feel confident in you,
how do you face the storms that come?
 
The weather station gives the warning.
There it is on the screen. And it's coming.
Your family member calls you up with bad news.
A thousand storms at sea without end.
 
But people are counting on you.
Delivering is just one level.
Can you deliver through the storms?
 
There are some days
you can't walk away from.
Those are the days when
the path has been chosen.
 
Your life intersects with other lives.
Someone may be going to sleep
and putting their hopes all on you.
But it’s not just one way.
You have needs too, right?
  
Have you ever really hoped
someone can help you?
Think back.
Have you ever
really, really hoped
a certain person
just this one time,
would make an exception
in your case and help?
 
That's pretty much my whole week. lol
Mostly with tech stuff.
Tech is one item that's always
in a state of being fixed
and broken at the same time.
Because there’s so much being built,
there’s so much I’m not going to know.
I learn version 6 and
version 7 makes me a beginner.
I will always need help.
 
People count on your help
in the storms they're facing.
People need you
tired or not.
Sometimes you can be
so deep in the storm
no one can see you.
But you're there - trying to move things
a little further a long
than they were before.
 
 For the days
when there
seems to be no time
for balance,
or centering
or calm,
people are counting on you.

As you think on your boundaries,
it's worth remembering
that you're counting on people too.
 
Caring goes in all directions.
 
When you’re needed the most,
and there's no turning back,

Remember what you promised.

Robert

Open any marketing email
and your favorite pied piper
is ready to share their secrets.

Right this way if you want to know
how to sell lots of whatever it is you want to sell.

Don't like selling?
C'mon over here - we can sell whatever it is you want
and best of all you don't need to know how to sell.

Don't like talking to people?
No problem!
Just send this letter - it's already written.
You just stand and collect the money.

Not sure of who you are?
We have that covered too.
You can be someone else.
Here's your affiliate #.
Just send the email with someone else's picture
and see what you can get going.

Are you seeing a theme here?
people are too willing to be a ghost
in their own lives.

Some are ready to forfeit who they are
in a moment of doubt.

People have hidden worlds inside them.
Lots and lots of them.

I'm not talking about interest or skill level.
You know your closest loves by heart.

If you write, it's who you are.
If you play music, it's who you are.
If you do anything artistic or something with care, it's who you are.

Some people are so busy playing grown up
they never have a life.

Your story isn't a bunch of words to get customers.
Let someone else do the TED talk.
Your story isn't the "a-ha moment" on your blog.

Your story is what you keep alive today.
Your story is the part you're about to live.

You're flying through your days
phone covered in texts
handing out scraps of you
each day.

It may very well be
that all you have to give
are scraps.
A few fleeting lines of kindness.

Do you remember that one teacher
who said one encouraging thing to you
that you never forgot to this day?

Oh, when it happens to you,
then one line is important, right? lol

Every crumb, every scrap and every grain of who you are
may be holding someone's world afloat
including yours.

People have endless patience
for the 10% improvement in business.
But the tiny shards of kindness are too poetic.
They're not. 

See the big inside the small.

Instead of just listening for what people want to buy,
listen for what's ignored and forgotten.
Including inside you.

Have you ever bought from someone
who didn't love their job?

Then you saw firsthand:
A sale doesn't go in one direction.

Two people are buying.

I'm stopping by at 2am
to remind you to feed yourself.

It's hard to listen
when you don't feel heard yourself.

Listening is a special form of generosity.

Get the things you hold most beautiful
to the next day intact.
Forget the pretty planners.
Scribble it on a napkin.
Scratch it on an index card.
The worlds can stay hidden
without judging yourself.

If need be, whisper your vows.

Keep what you love alive.

These are the
hidden worlds
in every heart.

Tread Carefully.

Robert